On friends.

Everybody has it. Friends. Whether it is through the internet or your pets or just in real life, but we all have a few people we meet or speak to and most of them are labled friends.

But I thought, even though I know a lot of people, what makes them special to be called "my friends"
and here are a few bits, why I think friendship is so important and why everyone must be careful of who you want to have as your friend.

The first thing that came into my mind was honesty. I know everybody lies and I do too. It's just a normal human reaction to something we fear. We lie to look better, to be treated better or just because we are afraid of the truth.
But a thing that is really important to me: try to be as honest as you can. I am not a person to judge or call somebody a liar, because as said I am no better. But when I start calling somebody my friend, then I offer to stay loyal and honest as much as I can so I wanto have that trust built between us,

That is my main thing number 2: trust. Without trust no relationship functions. It does not matter if it's family relationship, romantic or frienship. You need to have trust to have good thoughts about someone and you need to have faith in that peron, that they will not do you any harm, not on purpose at least. And this connection of trust and honesty and faith are like the three stones that will keep my friendships friendships, no matter the distance we live, no matter the times we meet or talk, but as long as I know that there is this bond between us, everything will be alright.

And one of the things I really appreciate is interest. When you are interested in a person and you like to hear about their day or their hobbys or even their crazy thoughts than you found someone really precious and you will stay a good friend, when you can just develop this kind of thing. not looking at your in your friendship but willing to be looking at your friend and being interested and being there.

therefore friends are really rare. not everbody likes to look away from theirselves and put another being before their own needs, at least, in situations where you are interacting with that someone.

So yeah, I hope everyone who reads this can slightly understand what I was trying to say and I just want to add that I am very grateful to have few friends not only right in my town, but everywhere in the country. thank you for that ♥

Create In Me A Clean Heart

Circumstances are what happen, when you are busy living your life and sometimes, just sometimes some circumstances happen and the life you know slips between your fingers away.
And then what? 
You have to find it again. A Life. Hope. Happiness.
When bad things happen or when things happen you'd never dreamed of, never thought they would be possible, how do you manage them? How to do you handle them?

Since we are all human, our level of thinking can come to a point where we can think so much, just so so much we want, we will never reach an answer or even a solution. If we were to find a solution ourselves then we would not have any problems and then we would have no one to talk to.

But what when we feel like there just is no one to talk to. When we are disappointed by friends, family, hurt by strangers or people we thought were friends. What when teacher and friends parents do not have you trust and the internet cares less for you than you'd ever thought? Who do you talk to?

A Diary?
No one?

Just swallow it up, let it go and never think of it again? Live like the problem would not be existent? 
Or do you just push it aside, hope no one will ever notice and just live with it, knowing it will be in any of your thought, will be in any of your emotions and gestures?
Or do you just break through it, fight like it's about your life and then just master everything on your own, because it's the only one you can depend on: You.

I used to be a fighter on my own. But what can I do when I reach my limit?
What do you do?
fight until you die? 
talk to someone, knowing it will not be of any change?
fall on your knees and pray?

That's what I learned to do. Pray. I write and I pray and it's easier to endure a problem, knowing you can shout your voids in the sky, pray in your thoughts and just hope there will be someone who knows about this, who is interested in this and even if he's not, you just talked to the man of the universe.

It makes me feel better, alive and it clears my head, my emotions, my heart. It takes the negativity out, not everytime, but I know something is changing. 

And that is most likely me.