Sonntag, 10. Mai 2015

Create In Me A Clean Heart

Circumstances are what happen, when you are busy living your life and sometimes, just sometimes some circumstances happen and the life you know slips between your fingers away.
And then what? 
You have to find it again. A Life. Hope. Happiness.
When bad things happen or when things happen you'd never dreamed of, never thought they would be possible, how do you manage them? How to do you handle them?

Since we are all human, our level of thinking can come to a point where we can think so much, just so so much we want, we will never reach an answer or even a solution. If we were to find a solution ourselves then we would not have any problems and then we would have no one to talk to.

But what when we feel like there just is no one to talk to. When we are disappointed by friends, family, hurt by strangers or people we thought were friends. What when teacher and friends parents do not have you trust and the internet cares less for you than you'd ever thought? Who do you talk to?

A Diary?
No one?

Just swallow it up, let it go and never think of it again? Live like the problem would not be existent? 
Or do you just push it aside, hope no one will ever notice and just live with it, knowing it will be in any of your thought, will be in any of your emotions and gestures?
Or do you just break through it, fight like it's about your life and then just master everything on your own, because it's the only one you can depend on: You.

I used to be a fighter on my own. But what can I do when I reach my limit?
What do you do?
fight until you die? 
talk to someone, knowing it will not be of any change?
fall on your knees and pray?

That's what I learned to do. Pray. I write and I pray and it's easier to endure a problem, knowing you can shout your voids in the sky, pray in your thoughts and just hope there will be someone who knows about this, who is interested in this and even if he's not, you just talked to the man of the universe.

It makes me feel better, alive and it clears my head, my emotions, my heart. It takes the negativity out, not everytime, but I know something is changing. 

And that is most likely me.  

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